Who am I?

amahWhen I browse a website, I like to know who I'm dealing with, so I briefly introduce myself. My name is Amah, as I'm writing this page, I am 38 years old.

Half togolese half french, I have lived for 12 years in Togo, which makes me say that miscegenation is both a blessing and a curse. It is more comfortable to sit on a single chair instead of being between 2 of them.

I like to make funny experiences, which explains my strange look on the photo: I have shaved my eyebrows, just to see how it's like. I think it's beautiful, the face's features and expressions can be seen more clearly. But it's poorly looked upon in the society, so the experience will end here.

I've been very curious about everything since childhood. Everything appeals to me, as long as it is true. Experience has taught me that sooner or later the lies crack and the whole life can collapse with them. We then fight to maintain the founding illusions, even become aggressive towards others. Even though they seem easy and reassuring, lies only offer a temporary and stressful shelter. The truth sometimes hurts but it is indestructible, it is more convenient to build a solid life.

Where does my interest in spirituality come from? My father was a former catholic priest, from a family of Lorraine farmers. My mother, who is from a family of Akposso farmers, is a devout catholic, who occasionally have premonitory dreams. I have vaguely inherited from this totally uncontrollable gift. I have been baptized in Lourdes. Does any of this explain why I'm looking for the truth, to the point of often jeopardizing my social life? I don't know. It itches.

I also feel like kicking asses and handing out slaps. I've seen too many people around me, rushing into trouble and it makes me angry. What shines to be immediately good, can sometimes be evil in the long term. My lack of diplomacy prevents the people from listening to me, therefore the largely predictable disaster always happens, then I must obediently listen to the endless moanings, under the threat of being labelled as a heartless fellow. This vicious circle is tiring so I live in an almost complete loneliness.

In this context, I rummage around, in the events, science, stories, psychologies, spiritualities ... I seek the truth, the one which cannot be destroyed. After exploring what the others have to offer, it's my turn to speak. So I hope that this blog will spark questions, answers, discoveries, more and more truth.

I write today because I would like to fight against a feeling of helplessness that is growing year after year. I feel that lie is everywhere, many people revel in it while others suffer. The spiritual world offers plenty of opportunities for this purpose. Everything happens in a subtle way, nothing can be proven, faith is mandatory. It is easy to invent everything and anything to get a charismatic aura of power and holiness.

I like to be surrounded with music therefore this blog is interspersed with musical interludes, marked by a canditar. Some of these songs sound so sadly ironic, others are there because the lyrics are relevant or simply hilarious. Everyone is free to decide to which state to switch.

If some word in italics seem odd, do not hesitate to browse the questions, just in case.

Beware! You must be fluent in frenglish to browse these pages. I'm sorry, some parts are impossible to translate in english, especially the musical interludes.